Sunday 3rd December 2006

I was having a quiet evening in tonight when someone knocked on my front door.

I live in an apartment block with a central corridor that has doors off it, so my ‘front’ door does not lead to the outside world, and therefore I assumed the knocker must have been one of my neighbours but I decided not to open it but remained sat at my computer where I was trying to do some work.

Do we have an obligation to open the door if someone knocks? I very, very, very rarely do. More often than not it turns out to be someone wanting to read the water meter and they leave a card for you to fill out anyway no that’s no big deal. I suppose it’s HOW they knock isn’t it? If it’s a panicked knock then, very much like calling 999 yesterday, you have a responsibility to answer that. And I suppose if someone decides to repeatedly knock then you should eventually answer it because the contents of your overflowing sink is probably dripping in through their ceiling. But just one unpanicked knock… I don’t think you have to answer that on a Sunday evening.

Besides, I was sat in my dressing gown and therefore not really ready to accept guests. I honestly don’t feel you should have any obligation to answer your front door at all. Maybe this is why my parties are so poorly attended? Ha-Ha.

In my old flat, the door buzzer was located on the street and there was a small video camera so you could see the caller. This was handy for obvious reasons, but it had the downside that when someone suspected you of being in, but also knew you could see their face on the screen, any refusal to answer made them correctly paranoid that you were maybe ignoring them, or angry that you were definitely in (lights on, etc) and refusing to come to the door.

I wonder who it was knocking at the door this evening…. I only know one person in the block and so it might have been Paul. I sort of know my actual next door neighbour (no idea what his name is) who did come around and moan about the volume of my TV about two years ago. My TV isn’t loud but the walls are very thin, which is more annoying for me seeing as he lives with his girlfriend, if you get my meaning.

But I was sitting in silence this evening and not possibly being an annoyance to anyone, apart from anyone reading this, and so I imagine it was nothing. Then of course you think of all the GOOD situations it might have been…. Attractive girl moved in down the hall that needs to borrow some sugar? No, it was a man’s knock and besides, if it had been an attractive girl wanting to borrow some sugar that would still have been bad because I looked so dishevelled that I would only have been able to resent me opening the door forever as a wasted and humiliating missed opportunity.

Maybe it was someone handing out Christmas cards to his or her neighbours but in that case I’m glad I didn’t open the door because the idea of handing out Christmas cards to people you don’t know is silly and could only have one possible purpose, which is getting to know your neighbours and fellow humans a little…bit… Oh. It is nice to hand out Christmas cards around your building. If that is what he was doing then I regret opening the door. Still, he could just have easily have put the card in my post box at the end of the hall and not banged on everyone’s door on a Sunday evening, the selfish bearer of goodwill.

But I didn’t hear anyone else’s door being knocked upon and so the mystery deepens…. It was probably Paul but he’s never knocked at mine before. I will ask him when I next see him and if not, we shall never know the identity of the knocker. Unless it was my neighbour wanting to complain about the sound of my fingers on my computer keyboard. Which is possible.

But as a modern etiquette question... Is it perfectly acceptable to ignore a knock on the door?

I think unequivocally the answer is ‘yes’.

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