I have been asked to assist some students at John Moore’s University here in Liverpool in making a TV programme that is part of their course. They asked K but he wasn’t available and so he passed it on to me. There’s no money in it but I will end up with some footage of me dicking about which may well be handy for a promo DVD in the future.
They have access to the Universities TV studio where the programme will be recorded ‘as live’, which means we can’t really mess things up and redo them when the time comes to film it, the fifteen minute programme will be done in one take. And so today I went up to meet them all properly and do a technical rehearsal.
The TV studio is quite basic and the equipment in ageing but fair play to the university for having one at all and I’m sure that come the afternoon of filming it, when the set is built, it will all look good and come together. The show is called ‘Squeaky Clean’ (although I’m not 100% sure why yet) although one clue is that the set is going to be a bathroom. Not a real bathroom, you non-TV savvy morons, but simply a studio made to look like a bathroom.
Basically it’s a comedy show where there are several segments, including an interview bit, a stand-up bit, some pre-recorded bits that have already been done on outside locations, a band play, there’s some bits to camera in the style of Channel 4’s The Friday Night Project, and some events like breaking the record for how many marshmallows you can fit in your mouth. It’s for the 16 – 23 year old market I suppose, and seeing as it’s made my students aged 18 – 20 that’s no great surprise. I am the old man of the group.
I am sort of the co presenter with a guy called Ben, who’s part of the course, and my roles are being interviewed by him (in a bath…), then doing some stand-up for about three minutes, then co-presenting some scripted bits to camera, and then co-hosting the marshmallow thing. I can’t see it being too difficult although there are opportunities to mess it up and look like an idiot so I will concentrate and try not to look too old and rubbish. I will not be trying to look youthful however – that would backfire on me. Hopefully I can give a copy to Channel 4 and be the new Justin Lee Collins.
One can only dream.
We’re doing it in a couple of weeks so I’ve got time to think about the bits that I’m supposed to write but doubtless this will be delayed until the night before and I’ll be left trying to think about amusing things to say about a couple of topics I have to script myself which are the apparent drop in shootings in Liverpool and the rise of Christian nudist camps. Surely Justin Lee Collins could come up with hilarious things to say on the spot about these topics so I’m not too bothered. If Justin Lee Collins, or JLC as his fans probably call him, can think of brilliant things to say on the spot then I have no doubt that three days of solid writing can see me come up with similar results.
We don’t record it for a couple of weeks so I’ll let you know how it goes in due course, but if you can think of hilarious, Justin Lee Collins-style things to say about scouse shootings or Christian nudist camps then let me know and I’ll gladly send a percentage of my no-fee to you.
If you see the mention of scouse shootings or Christian shootings in a Blog entry over the next couple of weeks you can rest assured that they are only there because of something that happened on that day and not me trying to kill two birds with one stone by trying to write ideas for either of these two subjects whilst getting a Blog entry out of the way. I am not cheap.
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