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Stanley McHale is a single man rapidly approaching thirty who loves and dreams of the same things he did when he was seventeen. But the band was never formed, the novel never finished, and the ill-chosen career in stand-up comedy is giving him more headaches than headlines. With the self-imposed deadline of his thirtieth birthday to either make an international success of himself or go and work in Woolworths, why not pull yourself up ringside seats for the tragically inevitable descent into mania and psychosis by reading his increasingly inane, pedantic, desperate, harrowing and wretched daily diary. It'll make you feel a whole lot better about yourself.

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Saturday 11th November 2006

Posted by on November 11, 2006 3:00 PM | 

Wade returned to London today and we feel we’ve got a reasonable amount done although I’d like to try and pack more in next time. Although next time will be next week and will involve one meeting but really just going to watch the new James Bond film a juvenile number of times.

I think we need to find objectives for each day and make sure those are dealt with but that’s the trouble with the whole self-employed thing: there’s always tomorrow. And tomorrow never comes. I think we’re making good headway but we’re going to have to step it up a notch or two and that will be made easier when the office is kitted out properly. I don’t really want to spend more money on it though, and we have applied for funding, so maybe it’s better to wait… although I don’t know how long that will take. Perhaps it’s better to risk the money, assume the funding will happen, and then pay myself back? Oh hang on, this could very easily turn into another turgid work entry like most of the recent ones so I’ll stop now. Only this is really all that’s going on.

I was planning a quiet night in tonight, taking the opportunity for a Saturday without work to reacquaint myself with rubbish TV give myself a rest from the pubs and bars but T-A selfishly rang and said we’d arranged to go out this evening (she pulled this trick the other Saturday too if you remember) so we met in Doctor Duncan’s, went to Room, and then went up to the office. I can’t think for the life of me how time flew by so fast but it was soon the early hours and we ended up sleeping on the floor, wrapped in coats. What sort of behaviour is this? It was like a child’s sleep-over in a tree house or something…. Sounds like a great idea until you wake up freezing cold at 4am and want your bed.

So since acquiring the office at the start of this month, I’ve put a bar in it, had a couple of get togethers in it, and done absolutely no work in it. This is ridiculous and has to stop but to be fair to me (and I always shall be) I have got a lot of stuff done at home which is the only place I can work due to the internet / phone line thing. I feel I’ve made progress every day, but at the same time I correctly feel the office is going to waste. It will be a hive of activity soon.

And now we’re back to work talk again… I could tell you about what T-A and I were discussing most of the night but that was mainly her new position at work. So that wouldn’t take us too far off this weary track would it?

I wish something amusing had happened in the street (a person falling down an open man hole or something) but it didn’t and I suppose if this Blog has any purpose at all it serves to give me a record of what was going on in my life when I read it to my non-existent grand children in fifty years time and at the moment all that’s happening is I’m getting a deeply into this project as I can and being a bit boring with it.

I watched half of Gillette Soccer Saturday before going out to meet T-A… But we’ve sort of covered that programme before. Um…

Well the toilet-goal thing struck again. I was checking the Portsmouth – Super Fulham score on my phone with five minutes of the game remaining and saw we were 1-0 to the good, but then went to the toilet in the pub and as I was performing this bodily function Portsmouth equalised. I am never going to shower or urinate during a football match ever again. This is why people go to watch live matches. It’s only acceptable to have a pee at half time when the game is stopped, and anyone caught having a shower would probably be ejected from the stadium. This is why the players only have a shower after the game, so no more goals are scored against them.

And it’s also why traditionally football dressing rooms have baths and not showers. It’s so if you are substituted you can not be tempted by a shower and therefore have a goal scored against your team whilst they are still out playing… And also why they don’t have a pee even if they really need one.

Would it help your team if you snuck into the opposing player’s dressing room and had one in there…?

Oh this is getting silly.


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