We have a funny relationship with Sundays, don’t we? Some of us like to worship God on this day, thinking that it is a holy day, where really it was the only day people ever got off work in the olden times and so a day the authorities suggested they should spend most of their time in a church to stop them having any sort of fun at all. Peoples existences were grim back then and after a hard week slipping around in a field hacking at the earth with their primitive, stupid tools all they had to look forward to was sitting in a freezing church thanking God for their brilliant lives.
But we still treat Sunday as God’s special day, yet if you were truly wise and holy like me you’d realise that every day is God’s day and Sunday doesn’t have any special significance at all. God probably hates people only coming to see him on a Sunday, like he’s some sort of old person in a home where families come every weekend to visit them for an hour or so and the kids sit awkwardly in the smelly common room. That is how God feels.
So people who use Sundays to worship God are wrong and unholy, you should worship him all the time and not consider him so unimportant that forgetting about him Monday through to Saturday is permissible. It isn’t. You’ll burn in the sulphurous pits of Hell if you only worship God on a Sunday, he’ll see to that.
Think of all the visitors he gets on a Sunday. If holy people were only to spread out their devotion throughout the week that would make it much easier for him. Because a church is, after all, God’s ‘house’, (or one of his many thousands of houses) and the upkeep on these old piles is enormous, hence the obligatory roof fund ‘thermometer’ outside every church. The ones where the red ‘mercury’ rises according to how much money has been collected from old women who can’t afford to keep their own roof in good repair. So why would God only want people in his house on a Sunday, when the rest of the week it sits comparatively empty? He wouldn’t. It would be like having Sky Sports in your house and your so-called mates only coming over on a Sunday because they want to watch the match.
Which is how others spend Sundays, just sitting at home falling asleep in front of the Grand Prix (which is French for Big Engine) and then, if you have Sky Sports, watching the match. For most of us in the UK, this means going to the pub. People love the pub on a Sunday, and will sometimes get ridiculously drunk, knowing that they have a week of work ahead of them but still defending their right to the weekend and to freedom, no matter what the consequences.
This is what the weekend serves as really. After a long, hard week at work the weekend is a time for people to get so messed up that the following week is even harder. I feel sorry for footballers having to work during the weekend, they don’t even get this precious time off to buy yachts and trousers made out of diamonds. It’s not it’s cracked up to be, being a footballer, of that there can be no doubt.
So we’ve got the churchgoers, the pub goers, what other demographics are there on a Sunday. Oh, the activity people. These people wouldn’t dream of sitting in a church, on a sofa, or in a pub, they’re an active family and have strapped four mountain bikes to the back of their 4X4 and are off to the lakes for a jolly good ride through the elements with their kids. With their kids who despise them. Whenever you next put your feet up on a Sunday, or wander into the pub for a pint and some football, have a thought for the poor seven year old at that moment cascading down some rapids in a canoe before having to hike up a mountain to try and spot an eagle.
That’s not to say some activity is good on a Sunday. Sunday is our designated walking day and many people, myself included, will enjoy going for a good hearty stroll on the Sabbath. It’s good after a Sunday meal isn’t it? Sunday being the day we roast things.
The rubbish thing about Sundays is that nothing’s open and the things that do open shut earlier. Either open or don’t open, just stop messing us around. Sunday is also a time for family meals, indeed I know a few young couples who cook a Sunday roast for just themselves every weekend, which is very homely. I would love to be invited to a Sunday roast somewhere. I gave up my right to this when I decided to be a confirmed bachelor. No-one likes to invite a single man to their Sunday roast. It’s a couples thing.
Never mind, I can cook my own. If I knew how.
Yes, Sunday is a unique day and I think we’d be all the poorer without them. Just make sure you still worship God on the Monday though, or he’ll be All Mightily annoyed with you for using his house on this one day for want of something to do.
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