I left my flat to go for a meeting today to discover it was pouring hard with rain. I set off in it, but soon realised I was going to get drenched and had to find some sort of shelter. I cannot be trusted with owning an umbrella because I loose them in quite ridiculously short lengths of time (it would not be uncommon for me to loose an umbrella whilst walking with one through the rain) but I desperately needed one today and looked about me to assess my options.
There are two shops near to me, aside from The Spar which is actually a little walk away and doesn’t even sell umbrellas. The first is Costco, which is for businesses and independent traders and whilst I could argue I am one, I haven’t got an account with them. So that was a no-go. The second is Toys R Us.
I debated even bothering to look for an umbrella in a children’s toy shop but was getting wetter by the second and so ran in. I found the umbrellas, but strangely they were all for children. They were small and decorated with pictures of Disney characters, and even the handles were made of shiny plastic and not really designed for my man hands. I looked outside to see it still pouring, perhaps even harder.
“Excuse me,� I said to an assistant, “but do you have any umbrellas that aren’t exclusively for children?�
“No. This is really a children’s shop.�
I looked trough the umbrellas, aware now that I was getting late, and also aware that it was futile trying to pick the ‘best’ umbrella, they would all make me look stupid. So I grabbed one and took it to the till.
I had to wait in line quite a while, and when it was my turn, the umbrella wouldn’t scan. The man asked another assistant for a price check.
“There’s no way this isn’t going to be embarrassing� I said to a fellow shopper, a middle aged woman who was behind me in the cue.
“You should just use the plastic bag instead.� she suggested.
This was a good suggestion. “Forget the umbrella.� I told the cashier, “But could I just have the bag?�
“Um. Sure.�
I realise it would have made a better Pathetic Lot entry to have walked along holding a tiny children’s umbrella above my man head, but the bag was probably more effective and I refuse to live my life as if in some sort of sit-com. Whilst it’s true that hilarity would have ensued had I walked along with my tiny umbrella as members of the general public shouted witty remarks at me, I would rather save that for a fictional life in some script and not my own real life.
The plastic bag pretty much sufficed (although arguably it made me look stupider) and I got to my meeting reasonably dry.
I was meeting a company called Online48 about designing Global Hangover. The meeting went well, they are a small but impressive outfit, and most importantly they seem to be very enthusiastic about the project. I think this is crucial – all the people we work with on this need to be really into it.
They showed me some projects they were currently working on and these were impressive, they could certainly handle the design for GH. They also want to do the logo and marketing. But they were honest enough to say that the programming itself was far more complex and they wouldn’t be able to handle it. This is fine, I’d rather they said that than try and do it before admitting it was too much.
They are preparing a quote for the GH design. It will be high, I know it, but now it’s a case of getting the backers on board. We need to know how much the programming is going to cost, then we can put a good budget together and take that back to Matt in the City to hawk to the money men and women. I’ve told online48 that I want a set fee, no matter how long it takes, I can’t be paying by the hour. I think this is fair for a big job, no?
I tell you what’s going to happen here – I’m going to set this company up with Wade, which is going to cost a lot of money, and then when it’s done and it’s actually ready to operate I’m going to wake up in a cold sweat, sit bolt upright in bed and stutter “What have I done? What have I done?�
Because potentially this is going to be a mega-company. It’s the new Myspace. Done right it will be. Can I run that, really? Yeah, of course. I’ll just get drunk and have other people sort it out. Don’t me that’s not what Donald Trump does. International business with absolutely no training or qualifications is a piece of cake.
I am setting myself up for a fall.
Nah, it’ll be fine.
I am setting myself up for a fall.
Nah, it’ll be fine.
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