I’ve stayed with Aria and Wade for a week now and so thought I should thank them for their hospitality with a present. I also needed to find something for my granddad’s birthday party tonight and so headed up to Heal’s on Tottenham Court Road. I love department stores, always have. I like to indulge in wealthy fantasies, and what I could buy if I were rich. For a man, I’ve always been a very content window shopper.
If, say, I want a new computer (I don’t know why I use this nerdy example but there is a nerd in me and it’s time I recognised it) but can’t afford one, I take pleasure from going to the computer department and imagining what I might buy when my boat comes in. It’s odd, because I should really find this frustrating and annoying, but I don’t. I think it’s the optimist in me, strongly believing that there are bright times, not just financially but in department stores it’s financial, around the corner. I like looking at office equipment and imagining a ficticious office all kitted out. For someone who’s actively avoided an office job his whole life, it’s a curious and illogical pleasure, but maybe because I’ve never had an office job it’s another example of me being delusional about the reality of an office, all the while enjoying the fantasy of one without the practicalities of being tied to the lifestyle. I am a prat. No comparisons here, needless to say, but apparently the erratic and compulsive James Dean liked nothing more than sitting behind a big desk taking calls, being the boss. For about five minutes before he’d go off and do something else.
Home furnishings have never held much appeal, I don’t like that section much. I’m not a home builder. Sofas and carpets don’t hold much sway. I like the kitchen department, with it’s kettles, toasters and fancy knife sets for some reason. And obviously I like the gadgets bit. The TV department, home electronics in general, has something of an appeal. I’d like a big tele. And I like looking at the radios.
All in all, I can waste quite a bit of time dallying in a department store and when I actually have something to buy I enjoy it more because I can’t be accused of loitering. What to get Aria and Wade? Well they’ve just moved into a new place, and they’re recently married, and so something practical would be an idea… I settled on a kettle, which might be boring, but they seemed to need one and I found a model in rather a nice 30’s design, metal, with a turquoise finish. For my granddad, I found a couple of nice, heavy whiskey tumblers. He doesn’t drink whiskey but they are nice glasses and good to have about. He drinks wine but wine glasses are two a-penny and it’s hard to find any that really stand out. I was happy with my choices.
I suppose we enjoy buying presents for people because we like because we like doing a good deed and we like them enjoying them, but there are probably selfish reasons too. Why do we get a kick out of spending our money on other people? I really do think it’s because it makes us feel better about ourselves. There’s probably, in this case, an alleviation of guilt too. I’ve stayed at their flat for a week and eaten their food, and although I was invited there is still a little bit of guilt about that, and so buying a present means you’re all square. There are probably lots of reasons for buying people presents according to psychologists and I bet most of them are selfish and self centred.
Train down to Tonbridge where my brother lives. I was looking forward to seeing him, naturally, but especially so because he’s recently moved onto a canal boat and I’d yet to see it, nor even a photograph of it. He drove me to a gate which opened to show a path leading down to the river and a secluded, well kept and homely collection of boats, paths, and individual bank side setups. We walked along the woodchip path adjacent to the river and I thought the environment was lovely, but all the time wary of having to say something nice when I saw Steve’s boat, which from what he told me I pictured as being the ugly duckling amongst the other decorative and lovely canal boats.
No fear. It’s a beauty – I was bowled over. It’s real Rosie And Jim stuff. The outside is painted green and red, with the traditional name and information in a board on the side, and we entered through the low door at the back, off the rear driving deck, and into a wonderful wooden home. It’s cosy and well fitted, a wood burning stove in the middle, a living area with electric lights that look like gas lamps, and moving through to the opposite end a wooden door opens onto a brilliant bedroom. He’s done well here, it’s a perfect home for about a tenth of what a house would cost you. And no council tax or anything ugly like that. I want one.
We went back outside and started the engine, it’s all in full working order and could sail today if we organised a trip. He’s not taken it anywhere as yet but we’ll surely arrange something before winter sets in. That’s another problem, apparently it gets bloody cold on a boat. It’s metal you see, and the living area itself is below the water line of the chilly river so you really need to get some heat going inside to make it habitable outside of the summer months. A friend on a neighbouring boat has told him winter is pretty bad… I bet. But it’s an amazing lifestyle switch and I’m very pleased for him. I don’t know if I’d ever get round to such a pipe dream, in keeping with my other pipe dreams. He’s done well.
Over to Tunbridge Wells and the Hotel De Vin for my granddad’s 85th birthday. Great evening. Lovely food, wine. I said a few words, not sure about what, but the old boy seemed to enjoy himself and from the look of him, we’ll all be back there for his 90th, 95th and 100th. You’ve never seen a sprightlier or more with-it 85 year old. Hope it’s the genes. Oh, but regards yesterday, I forgot to ask him for some advice on anything. I’ll ring him.
“So, just to recap, the day was really about your granddad achieving 85 years of life, and to a lesser extent about your brother’s home, but you seem to have devoted most of today’s entry to department stores. What was the thinking behind that?�
Thinking? You think I think?
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