Thursday 29th June 2006

I set about exploring the Greenwich Village area today, which is where I'm staying in a cheap but friendly and clean hotel called The Larchmont on West 11th Street. 'The Village' is traditionally New York's hip and aware district, full of artists, writers, that sort of crowd, and it had a relaxed and friendly vibe. Lots of people walk around with dogs.

I saw a bar called Woody McHale's and went in, wondering if I could take advantage of my surname?

"How much is a Bass?"

"Five dollars."

"How much is it if my surname's McHale?" I ask, presenting my I.D.

"Five dollars."

Actually, McHale's is a very friendly and approachable bar and indeed I returned there this evening and did get free drinks because of my name and so my persistence paid off. If you surname is McHale, why not go to New York and get a free drink in Woody McHale's? We could form our own tight-wad drinking club. Why not look into getting your name changed to McHale and then demanding free drinks in this establishment? And to think, I managed to pull this off with only my Surname matching that of the bar, imagine what I'd have got if my first name was Woody too? Probably a bottle of champagne served in an enormous diamond or something.

The only thing playing on my relaxed mind was that I was due to leave early in the morning, so early that I couldn't really have a full night on the town for fear of oversleeping. It annoyed me that I was in one of the greatest, if not the greatest, cities in the world and after a brief taste of honey I was going to have to leave it. So I looked online for the address of STA Travel, whom I'd booked my flights with back in the UK, realised it wasn't far away on Third Avenue and so raced in there to demand my flights be changed so I can have more fun. STA were a bit rubbish and didn't know how to do this (you'd think it would be a common request) but they gave me a number for American Airlines and the woman there was very helpful.

"When would you like to leave?"

"I don't know, this is all a bit sudden. Tuesday?"

"Tuesday the 4th of July."

"The Fourth of July? That's Independence Day isn't it? I think I'll stay for that. How about the fifth?"

"That's fine. Wise move."

I think it might be, it will be fitting and thrilling to see the 4th of July fireworks here, and a great way to end the trip. How can I justify staying longer? Well, the flights were changed for free. The hotel is inexpensive. The extra time will present opportunities. I'd only be straight back over if I had to go home because I love the place so much, which would cost more. Besides, the great thing about stand-up is that for the extra money I'm shelling out in staying can be recouped by just standing on a stage a couple of times talking nonsense. It's not like I have to dig up roads. I'm lucky.

So I left the travel agency feeling elated and turned to see The Empire State Building framed at the bottom of the avenue. This sort of reward was confirmation I was doing the right thing and I felt happy and relaxed, I could now afford to take it slower, not be rushed into everything and feel the desperate need to SEE SEE SEE.

I took the Subway up a few stops to the west side to Central Park and emerged at street level to see it was raining. I sheltered under a tree by the rowing lake and loud claps of thunder echoed around the sky, turning into a full monsoon. It was lovely to be out in the rain, getting wet, with the thunder booming about.

I got back to my hotel and slept for a couple of hours before going out to visit a few bars. I met a cockney girl called Vicky in Woody McHale's and she and her boyfriend took me to what was supposedly a very cool and exclusive hip hop club but I hate that sort of thing, everyone was posing, and so I decided to keep walking past the toilet, where initially I was headed, and straight out the door. I'll be sure to bump into my hosts soon and apologise, but it just wasn't my scene.

Bar hopping is great fun in a foreign town. I ended up back in the French Roast at about half one, saw the delightful Christina, and ended up sat there until dawn, listening to some old rock n' roller play us songs on his guitar. I think I left about seven a.m.

I was drunk and staggered down the street back to bed delighting in the fact I wasn't standing in an check in cue at JFK.

You know, the real reason I changed the flights is that, no matter how silly or romantic this sounds, I have a real sense that something is going to happen to me in New York. I've no idea what kind of thing, but something positive. It will be interesting to see what it is.

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