I've spent a lot of time in Sefton Park recently, taking advantage of the weather, but whilst you might assume I am being lazy and hate me for my luxurious ways whilst stuck in your offices, let me assure you I'm working very hard and have a notebook full of scribbles for this new idea I've got. I'll not bore you with what it is as yet, although it's a TV script, but I've decided that - if you show the slightest interest - I might start sending out copies of what I'm writing to all six Pathetic Lot readers and use you as a sounding board in future.
I know I promised to do this with The Power Of Ten and to those people who applied to read it, I'm SO sorry about the delay in posting out the discs but I will do in the next couple of days I swear. There is not a post office in the park and this has held me up.
But in general I see no reason why I can't mail stuff out to be read by you lot, unless you plan to steal all my useless ideas and submit them to TV companies yourself, in which case remember I'll already have your addresses and will send some Ukrainian psychopath round to cut off essential parts of your face. I know I can trust you all, and trust your opinions, because if you take the time to read this banal and often boastful and annoying Blog every day then you must be gluttons for punishment and enjoy reading my poorly conceived ideas.
I really like the feeling of starting a project, even if it's ultimately doomed like all the others. You're always convinced this is the one. This idea is basically an anti-sitcom about a man who finds everything annoying. He is me. It's just about his day to day struggle with idiots and social situations. I think it will be called Tolerance. Anyway it feels very BBC4 at the moment. So when I've got a draft script together I'll let you know and if you're interested in reading something that is far funnier than anything on TV at the moment but will never get made into a TV show because commissioning editors don't know what the hell they're talking about then get in touch and a copy will land on your door mat. But remember the Ukrainian.
What will probably happen with Tolerance is that someone with a hundred grand a year job at the BBC will say it's the best thing ever and then give me some money to 'develop' it. And this will lead me to think there might be a future for it, and I'll be whisked off to a few meetings where they pat me on the back and discuss the cast and everything and say how much they love the whole thing and then about two years later they'll say it's not right for the current climate, take a piece of dog dirt off the pavement and smear it in my face as they all stand around and laugh.
Then I'll be kicked out of the building by a burly security guard and pushed to the ground whilst the bloke with the 100 grand a year job and all his or her mates lean out of an upstairs window and point and spit. And then a script will land forcibly on my head and someone will shout "Tolerate that, sucker!"
Am I being pessimistic? Tell me if I am.
I don't care, I'll write it for me and me alone and even if it doesn't get anywhere at least it will exist. That's the only way to look at it, trust me, I've had enough projects get nowhere to know that by now.
But you'll get to see it, my nerdy friends. And that's the only reward I could possibly want.
Was about to leave the park today when T-A and her new boyfriend Michael happened to walk down the path to where I was sat. It was nice to see them and we went to a great new Mexican restaurant on Lark Lane called Que Pasa Cantina. It's a lovely place, although we didn't try the food, just worked our way through three bottles of red which came with those lovely big round wine glasses that you can swirl the red gold about in. The wine was a merlot called Casa La Joya. Why not go to this new restaurant and order a bottle? Seriously, give it a go because it's a beautifully relaxed and informal place that's already proving quite popular and so soon will be fashionable and then we'll never be able to go there ever again. It's at the park end of the Lane, last place along.
It's good to see a nice place doing well there because Lark Lane's going to the dogs. For those not from Liverpool, it's a little way out of the city centre and is traditionally where the bohemian set hang out. But their pub, The Albert, has been taken over by the local hoodlums and isn't a patch on what it was. A nice restaurant opened and then was forced to shut. I think perhaps there's a mob element in control. I hope Que Pasa Cantina survives, they seemed to be doing well.
Paid the wine bill with some of the casino winnings and felt about as self-satisfied as I have for a long time, which is saying something. I deserve to be a figure of hate and revulsion, and I'm sure I'm getting there. I do know that. Thanks for continuing to read.
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