I heard on the news today that they’d found an unexploded World War II bomb in the Mersey, and as a result had stopped the ferry crossings and shut the tunnel. If that’s not shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted… If I was a commuter, stuck in the tailback, I’d be thinking – probably shouting – ‘A bomb has lay there for sixty years, minding it’s own business, and now it’s been discovered you think there’s a danger?’
The tunnel was BUILT whilst that bomb lay there, driving through it’s hardly going to cause a problem, surely? And what of the ferries? Why stop them? Is there the minute risk someone might absent mindedly drop a stone over the side during the crossing which sinks to the bottom and hits the rusty old detonator? It’s all ludicrous.
When I got home there was indeed a Royal Navy minesweeper on the river, the same boat that had found the bomb during ‘routine checks’ and caused everyone’s morning to be ruined. They must find so few bombs, and therefore struggle to justify their existence, that when one does turn up they have to make a big song and dance about it.
Bombs don’t react badly to being discovered. They’re not bears in a cave. They react badly to being dropped out of planes (as do bears), but not being discovered.
So today they had the job of taking it out to deeper water and detonating it. Oh, they can move it without it going off, but you can’t drive your car through a tunnel that’s a few hundred yards from it, surely everyone knows that? I think it’s a bit unfair on the poor old bomb, having to be destroyed when it was living a perfectly happy life in the river. Then again, it was always the bombs destiny to explode, and so maybe it would like that destiny to be fulfilled?
Perhaps the bomb had laid there for years thinking to itself, with it’s evil German mind, ‘Yes, I look like a rusting shell know, but soon zey will discover me, and zen there will be big bangs of that you can be zure.’ But then the bomb will be detonated out at sea, probably covered by the media, for people’s general amusement and interest. No evil bomb could want to end it’s life like that. It’s like being captured by the enemy and being made to work in a circus or something, having kids point at you and laugh.
Maybe this is our ultimate revenge on Hitler? The bombs he made and dropped, now being used for the idle entertainment of the free British people. That would make him furious as hell.
I don’t know how you move a bomb or how you detonate it. Presumably a diver has to go down there and asses the situation. Who’s job is that? “Dave, your turn.�
“I’m not going… you do it!�
“It’s your go!�
“But that’s got to be dangerous, surely? That thing could go off in my face.�
“There’s no chance of that. It’s all rusty and rubbish now.�
“So why close the tunnels and stop the ferries?�
“To make us look hard. Go on, we’ll make you a cuppa, you go down there and give it a tap.�
“I’m not touching it!�
“Oooooh, look a Dave, afraid of a bomb!�
It’s interesting how it hit the water from that height and didn’t explode. You might as well hit concrete than water from that height, but then there are loads that hit land that didn’t explode too aren’t there. People are forever finding bombs. How badly made were they? Drop them out of a plane from 10,000 feet onto concrete and it’s not enough to trigger it. Why do we get so touchy when we find one? So nervous? “Don’t go near, it’s unexploded.� It fell out of a plane and didn’t g off! It’s not going to get the hint if I just walk near it! Unless it’s the sneakiest bomb ever devised.
It was a beautiful evening, one of those remarkable Liverpool sunsets, and so I took a walk along the river at about nine, down to the Albert Dock. Others were walking the other way and a group of lads asked me “Do you know where they’re exploding the bomb?�
“Out at sea probably.�
“Oh, right.� But they carried on walking in the direction I’d came, towards the river mouth. I though they were on a bit of a futile mission but more people followed so maybe the paper had published something about where it was going to be detonated.
I wouldn’t want to be a nearby fish. Think of the headache they’ll have tomorrow. Ha-Ha! Serves them right! Serves them right for being… serves them right.
- Post to:
del.icio.us
Digg
Newsvine
Nowpublic
Reddit
« Previous | Home | Next »