A fortuitous day in many ways. I played around with some new stuff for the book at lunchtime, adding a new section but mainly playing unnecessarily with fonts and whatnot. This is exactly the same as tidying my sock drawer. Fonts are not important in the first draft of a book. Never have been, never will be. This means I’ve still managed to create a way of delaying and stalling when sat in front of my computer (and not recleaning the kitchen) which doesn’t even involve the internet. I’m a delaying maverick.
But today wasn’t bookmarked as a book day and so it’s not officially a waste of time. The extra bits I did add are a kind of bonus. The main thing today was to drive down to Nottingham and do a show at Nottingham Trent University. I was wary of missing Super Fulham’s crucial but obviously futile match with Champions-elect Chelsea and so decided I’d listen to it on Radio Five Live on the drive down instead of sitting in a pub and watching them rattle goal after goal past us. I know we’re officially Super, but if Liverpool could put five past us on Wednesday, how many would Chelsea score?
I arrived in Nottingham, parked up, and turned the radio off. We were 1-0 up at half time. This was unlikely, but I didn’t get over excited. I knew we’d loose, and I mentally bet on 3 goals to 1.
The gig tonight is was with K and I walked to Nottingham’s train station where we’d agreed to meet. I don’t know why I continue to call him ‘K’ on this site. I think I thought it sounded rather like the style a diarist might use, especially one who’s day to day life with celebrity types would benefit from discretion, but it doesn’t really. It just looks messy. I suppose there’s no harm in continuing to call him ‘K’. I could call him ‘Keith’, because that’s his name, but I think ‘K’ will do for now. Anyway, I said that it was quite important that we didn’t catch up on gossip but watch the second half of the game on TV and so settled in a pub next door to the station and saw out the agonising next 51 minutes, including stoppage time, of football in which Fulham were valiant, brave, but under the cosh for most of it. Chelsea scored to make it 1-1, but then a remarkable conversation between the referee and the linesman (surrounded by Fulham players furiously protesting) resulted in the ‘goal’ being disallowed and the 1-0 score line remaining.
And that, somehow, is how it stayed. Fulham beat Chelsea for the first time since the 60’s and I was delighted. Sometimes it’s nice to be reminded how super Super Fulham can be. And that is VERY super.
A pitch invasion by the fans at the end only highlighted the relevance of the result. I was beaming.
We went for something to eat before driving out to the University campus, which was five miles out of town. The venue the gig was supposedly in was deserted, not a single customer in the huge space, and the manager seemed embarrassed and said the show might not go ahead. We headed upstairs to the office to wait.
Now the thing is this; We get paid if the show goes on or not. So what’s the ideal outcome? Get paid for doing nothing? Or doing a show seeing as you’re driving a 230 mile round trip and it would be a waste of a whole day not to?
The answer is; not have to do a show and get paid. I would have thought that was obvious.
It’s not that it’s completely preferable to performing. If many circumstances I’d rather go on stage and have a really good time than simply be paid off and drive home without getting the microphone. But in this situation, if the ‘show’, for what it would be worth, did go ahead it would be to about ten or twenty people and that’s a living nightmare. No comic wants to do that. So a deal was struck with the manager… We’d wait upstairs in the office and if no-body came through the door by 8.15 we’d just go home. So we sat upstairs mentally dissuading people from coming near the place. Is that awful? No, again, it’s the obvious thing to do.
No-body came. Such are our powers. We got back in the car having earned a respectable amount of money for doing absolutely nothing but negotiate long stretches of motorway, and drove back to Liverpool. I can see how this could be annoying to people who work hard for their cash. But we stuck to our part of the bargain, we were there on time and willing to sweat. It’s not our fault that we benefit in such circumstances. Apparently the compete lack of interest was due to it being the end of term and all the students were out drinking in town to celebrate.
It’s not that we can’t pull a crowd. No. That is not what it is.
On the way home K and I discussed doing a monthly sketch show in Liverpool with a bunch of comics, similar in theory to the Bastard Funny night I went to see in Manchester on the 22nd of last month. I spoke to comedian Seymour Mace, one of the ringleaders, after that show and asked how I could get involved in something similar? He suggested setting up a night in Liverpool. I think it could really work, but we’ll obviously have to make it our own. We can’t copy what people are doing in Manchester.
It does seem that now, more than at any point in the last twenty years, comedians are taking the initiative and making things happen. I know there’s a great deal of exciting stuff happening in London. And of course in Manchester. It seems like we have a responsibility to do something.
K is very excited by the idea, and so am I. We spent a great deal of the journey home thinking of a title for our night, which we’d hope to do monthly. K got it in the end; Sketch Me Ragged. I like it very much.
Ours wouldn’t just involve people from Liverpool, though. Why limit yourself? Everyone is welcome, the more diverse the better. We drove towards Liverpool remembering ideas we’ve done in the past, and characters that would never be permissible on the comedy circuit, driving too fast and screaming with laughter to the point we were exhausted.
You’ll have to come and support this when it starts. A lot will ride on it. You could be witness to the start of something wonderful. Or something unspeakably poor. But either way, flood to it when I get the dates sorted. If no-one turns up this time, we really will get what we deserve.
- Post to:
del.icio.us
Digg
Newsvine
Nowpublic
Reddit
« Previous | Home | Next »