Apparently the ‘must-have’, which invariably means ‘don’t need’ present this year has been satellite navigation devises for the car. I don’t have one personally because I think that they take something away from the fine art of map reading and, maybe more importantly, stop people thinking for themselves.
I share with my Dad a love of maps and don’t like the thought of them being sacrificed for some petty reason like progress. I think I’m also anti-GPS because I think that people should be forced use their heads and read maps unless they are classified as blind or insane. And neither of these groups should be behind the wheel of a car anyway.
It annoys me when people can’t read maps. Maps don’t use a language of their own, they are just simply, and perfectly logical. They are the most ordered and clear things you’ll ever look at. They don’t have quirks, or devises or underhand rules. They tell it like it is. People say ‘oh I’m hopeless with maps’ but that’s like saying you’re hopeless with shoelaces.
I appreciate that GPS would be handy if you happened to be without your road atlas and were stuck in an unfamiliar place wanting to get to another unfamiliar place but how often does that happen unless you are a professional driver? And if you are a professional driver you should have a professional understanding of a map.
If I sound like an eighty seven year old war veteran then fine. There’s certain technology that’s useful and some that isn’t. CD’s are useful because although I go along with the apparently rubbish argument that they don’t sound as good as vinyl, they are more convenient. And DVDs are good because the picture’s better and you can listen to the director’s thought on this film so that’s an IMPROVEMENT over video, but GPS isn’t an improvement on a road atlas. It just shows you where you are on a map and how to get to another bit of a map, which any half-wit should be able to figure out.
“But you’re wrong because reading a road atlas whilst driving is dangerous and at least the GPS system will vocally instruct you where to go.�
No, I’m not having that. Whilst I don’t recommend you flick through a road atlas whilst doing ninety miles per hour on the M60, it’s an irrelevant argument because you shouldn’t have to. You should be able to look at a road atlas and think to yourself ‘right I go along here and then go onto the motorway and then get off at junction 10 and then I’ll follow the signs to Settle-On-The-Rye from there. Which is easy, but the growing reliance on GPS will mean that people won’t be able to approach a motorway near Glasgow, wanting to go to London, without being told to take it south, not north. And if you don’t know London is south of Glasgow then you shouldn’t be outdoors unsupervised.
It’s taking away the necessity of thinking for yourself which is important. We’ll end up robots, mark my words.
And GPS won’t stop at cars, needless to say. The facility will be in some mobile phones within two years and common in most within five. Everyone will be tracked from space, which is probably an ideal situation for most forward thinking governments. Of course, if they said ‘We’re going to track you all individually from space’ there’d be an outcry, but if Nokia say ‘You can now find out where you are from space’ people will lap it up. Without getting political however, it does mean that people will use their phones, or maybe separate devises, for finding their way from a railway station to a museum, or whatever, and that can’t be allowed to happen. We’ll all be walking around on auto-pilot.
How have people found their way to the railway station to the museum in the past? With a tiny fraction of the sense and articulation they were born with. It’s a tidy method.
So what’s the message here? Um…. Bit of rant, sure, but I think the message is don’t buy yourself a GPS system, or if you get one as a gift ask the bearer if they have the receipt because you’re not an idiot and can read a map. If you’ve got one pre-installed in your car, never turn it on. The joy of a good, new, road atlas. £10, max. Sat-Nav, £300. So what to do with the £290 you’ve saved?
Well here’s an idea. I’ve discovered a great drink whilst down in Kent this Christmas. We’re all familiar with Pimms No.1 I presume? The King of summer drinks when mixed with lemonade and a ton of fruit and mint? Of course. Well Pimms have a great drink called Pimms No.3 ‘Warmer’. It’s brandy based with orange zest and spice flavourings. Anyway, you mix this 1 part to 3 with clear apple juice and then warm it on the stove in a pan. Get a good load of it going because you’re going to need it. Then, when warm/hotish serve into glasses, pass around to your friends, and feel the Christmas cheer spread.
Actually, this will probably be my drink of choice right through until spring now. And the bonus is, if you’re one of those questionable people who can’t read maps, then don’t worry about loosing out on a GPS system and spending £290 on booze and apple juice, with a few of these beauties inside you, driving a car would be highly illegal anyway.
Enjoyed a fine Boxing Day over at my Dad’s today. As we drove home this evening in his car however, I noticed the LCD display on the dashboard showed the temperature display to be flashing. It said 2 degrees, and I imagine it was flashing to warn the driver that it might be cold out and roads could be icy.
The snow was a bit of a giveaway, to be fair. It proves my point, technology is insulting and you take it seriously at your peril.
- Post to:
del.icio.us
Digg
Newsvine
Nowpublic
Reddit
« Previous | Home | Next »