I’m still experimenting with the film and so again spent much of my day in front of a screen. But I got distracted, as ever, by the infinite mystery of the internet and started wasting time by looking at other people’s obsessions.
The best thing about the internet is that it’s given excessive compulsives their perfect platform. For example, remember Knight Rider, the 80’s crime-fighting series staring David Hasselhoff and a futuristic car? Well I was trying to do a bit of research to see just how popular Hasselhoff is as a pop star in Germany (the answer is very, very popular) and inadvertently found myself at a site dedicated to Knight Rider.
The site (www.knightrideronline.com) proudly boasts that it is the ‘oldest and greatest’ of all the Knight Rider sites on the internet, and once inside the site you notice that it is indeed a carefully constructed effort, done by a man (and call me presumptuous but I’m guessing it’s a man) clearly obsessed with Knight Rider.
In the grey, boring past, before such things as the internet (unimaginable now), this man would have either been incredibly frustrated, unable to find a proper forum to discuss Knight Rider, and enough people similarly obsessed with Knight Rider to form any sort of a community. Now, simply typing Knight Rider into Google takes you to his Knight Rider world in a single click.
Or maybe he felt ashamed, hiding in the shadows, worried that his love of Michael Knight and his crime fighting car was in some way strange or wrong? He probably avoided talking to people about it, in case he was cast out from the village, and forced to live in a wood.
But now! Now he has found his voice, set up his own church, and although that church is the Church Of Knight Rider, that’s still a magnificent thing.
In a banner at the top of the site’s homepage it says ‘Celebrating Our Tenth Anniversary 1995 – 2005’. Ten years! That means he must have set up the site when the internet was still in it’s infancy. As soon as the technology was available and people started to tentatively think about the possibilities that this new ‘inter net’ could afford them, this one gentleman said to himself ‘It’s obvious what it’s for! A huge forum about my favourite TV Show, Knight Rider!’
And so his purpose in life was suddenly very clear to him. Ten years… Wow.
I’m not making fun of him, I genuinely think it’s a good thing, but I do wonder how he slips his ‘job’ into conversation. If he’s out on a first date for example… Probably wearing a black leather jacket very similar to the one worn by Michael Knight.
‘So, Neil… What is it you do for a living?’
‘Um. Well, you know the internet?’
‘Uh-huh. Oh! Let me guess! Are you one of those guys that set up e-Bay?’
‘No, not exactly. Do you remember a programme called Knight Rider?’
‘Yeah, I think so. What that the one with David Hasslehoff and the car that could talk.’
‘K.I.T.T., yes. The car’s name was K.I.T.T. I stands for Knight Industries Two Thousand.’
‘Oh, okay. So…’
‘So I’ve combined the two. I’ve combined the internet and Knight Rider.’
‘You’ve got a site about Knight Rider?’
‘Yes. Yes I have. Ten years and still goin’ strong!’
‘That’s so bizarre. I’ve just spent five years setting up one about Airwolf.’
‘Airwolf was rubbish! A flying helicopter! I ask you!’
‘It’s better than Knight Rider. At least it didn’t have a gay car in it.’
‘For the love of all that is holy! K.I.T.T was NOT gay! Why does everyone say that? It’s just the way he was programmed to talk!’
So do please take the time to visit www.knightrideronline.com, and perhaps it you’ve got fond memories of the programme, you might like to join the community that peacefully resides there. Or set up your own Knight Rider site that blows his out of the water.
On the subject of nostalgia-heavy TV shows, I forgot to mention yesterday, in my QMC excitement, that I’d gone out for a drink at the Brook Café bar last night. They were showing a DVD of the fondly remembered kids’ TV show ‘The Family Ness.’
Many of you will recall the adventures of Angus and Elspeth McToot and their friendly relationship with a group of monsters living in Loch Ness. Well it struck me when watching several episodes of The Family Ness last night (this Blog is called Pathetic Lot with good reason) that perhaps their relationship wasn’t particularly friendly after all.
Angus and Elspeth both had ‘thistle whistles’ which they could use to summon the monsters whenever there was a problem or emergency. But that’s the thing – they only ever summoned them when they needed help. They never seemed to want to summon them for a chat or to just to ask how they were. You never saw an episode whereby they both blew on their thistle whistles and Ferocious-Ness appeared and said ‘What’s the matter?’ Only to be told ‘Oh, nothing. Just a bit bored. Fancy going for a pint?’
You may be thinking ‘but Elspeth and Angus were mere children, they wouldn’t even want to go for a pint.’ But no, The Family Ness was set in Scotland. Kids there drink like tramps. Especially in cut off rural communities in the Inverness area in which Elspeth and Angus lived.
Incidentally my friend A actually had a Family Ness club when she was a wee girl of about eight years of age living in Dumbarton near Glasgow. I’m not sure if meetings of this club were boozy affairs, I’ll ask her.
She’s not obsessed with The Family Ness any more, I know that. But going back to my original point, someone is, and yes – he or she has constructed a website.
The internet – the greatest gift civilisation has been given. Especially if you’re REALLY into Knight Rider.
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